The beach can be a wonderful, relaxing place and the perfect place to spend a sunny day. Unless these clueless jokers show up.

If you recognize yourself in one of these illustrations, just stop. Everyone else will thank you for it.

You can see larger versions of Tony Auth's beach illustrations in the gallery below.

 

 

Boombox

(Tony Auth/for NewsWorks)

Boom box music

It's bad enough you're subjecting everyone else to your music, but to leave the radio on when you jump into the water? Don't be surprised if someone steals your radio, though you can probably find it in a trash can.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Feeding the gulls

(Tony Auth/for NewsWorks)

Feeding the sea gulls

Seagulls have learned how to open potato chip bags. Do you really need to feed them, too? All you'll get in return is ire for inviting the masses to nose dive onto fellow beachgoers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Moat

 

(Tony Auth/for NewsWorks)

Unlawful claims

We get it: beach space is tight. But if you're that person in North Wildwood who digs a moat around his beach chair on Saturdays in August, stop it. You're not king of the beach. Deal with the crowds like everyone else.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

New neighbor

(Tony Auth/for NewsWorks)

Crowding the lone person on the beach

You crowd the lone person on an empty beach. But if the beach is just about empty, set up your camp of three blankets, four umbrellas and a gaggle of screaming children away from the only other person sitting on the beach. And don't shoot her dirty looks when she moves.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Red cup fools

 

(Tony Auth/for NewsWorks)

Red solo cup

You think red solo cups hide your booze. Really? You think that's a good cover? You might as well be shot gunning skunk beer because red solo cup is the international symbol for "I have a drink in my hand." FYI, the police know this too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Spraying downwind

(Tony Auth/for NewsWorks)

 

 

Spraying downwind

Spray-on sunscreen is convenient — if you know to spray it on yourself, not the person next to you. If you can't figure out how to make the wind work in your favor, stick to the type you have to slap on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Boombox

(Tony Auth/for NewsWorks)

Chinese lanterns

If the wind isn't blowing away from houses you could be talking about some serious problems.


Video by Josh Simeone